I'm A Real Cowboy
You don't realize how mooshy you are until you have a three-year-old climb on a 1,000 lb animal named 'Chip'. I never thought I would be the mother holding onto the railing trying to keep myself from passing out from nerves, but that happened this weekend. My son holds my heart. With every milestone he accomplishes, he breaks my heart and fills my heart all at the same time. He's quite a talented 3-year-old.
Here is the play-by-play. Charlie got all dressed for his class with Broc -- Lead Line.
We walked to the arena. I got down on a knee and gave my little cowboy a pep talk. I told him how proud I am of him. I told him to not be scared and to have fun. I told him that he's going to win a prize if he tries really hard. I pointed to where I will be standing. I told him that Granny and Papa will be close too.
My blue-eyed-charmer put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Mama, I'll be okay."
I gave him a hug as I swallowed a lump in my throat and walked to my position around the arena. I held onto the railing as I waited for Charlie, Broc and Chip to come into the arena.
Then it happened. The green shirts walked into arena and Charlie's life flashed in my helicopter-mommy-brain.
He lived in an incubator for the first 5 weeks of his life. His hair grew fast only on one side of his head. I wouldn't cut it until he turned one year even though everyone wanted me to cut it early. Marc taught him to put his fist between his eyes and say, "focus" before Marc pitched a ball for him to hit. Every night I say, "bushel and a peck" and he says "around the neck" before he goes to bed.
These are the things I thought about while I fought back tears and my son rode in his first horse show.
Then it happened.
My peripheral vision was getting smaller and I was getting hot. I started feeling weak, so I grabbed the railing and realized my knees were locked. As soon as I bent my knees, my vision came back and Charlie was close enough to me to says, "Keep smiling Charlie."
That's my boy. He just keeps smiling. He's a real cowboy now.
I wonder if my mom felt this type of pride when I rode in my horse show?