The waiting...

Lucy had her routine labs yesterday. I should get the results today. The waiting kills me. I called St. Louis Children's Hospital a few minutes ago. They should get back to me at any time with the results. I'm not worried.

Yes, I am. Let's not start lying now.

I am 90% confident the cancer did not come back. The statistics prove my theory to be accurate. She has no real symptoms, so that 90% is probably right. That 90% consumes my logical thinking.

The other 10% that is unsure is the emotional side of me. Unfortunately emotions are hard to fight.

So, I wait. This is what I do while I wait.

Dr. Pepper

  • I try to focus on work. Ha.
  • I bite my fingernails.
  • I eat chocolate.
  • I drink soda.
  • I google symptoms.
  • I stop googling, because it makes me crazy and I eat more chocolate.
  • I look at Facebook pictures of Lucy Jo over the last year. Wow she looks so different with hair!

Finally, the phone rings and my hands shake as I pick it up. My voice is cracking just a little. Will this ever get any easier?

The nurse says her AFP is 4.3. It's normal.

Whew.

We get 29 more days of normal until her next labs, MRI and Xray on January 6.