= time that I don't get to myself

If you are reading this blog then you probably know about Lucy Jo and her story. You might even know that she got her Broviac removed today. You may know that she has eaten bacon, gravy, baby food, pulled pork, green beans and rice today. This is a big deal because she hasn't had much of an appetite her entire life. Since you probably know all of this, I'm not going to bore you with talking about Lucy Jo tonight.

This is what's on my mind.

I don't think you have to be a parent of a cancer survivor to feel exhausted and drained. I don't even think you have to be a parent to feel spread thin leaving no time to complete a thought without falling asleep. This describes my life.

I decided last week that no one is going to lose weight for me, so I started walking at a park in West Plains. My intentions were merely to sweat, burn calories and shed some pounds. However, what I am gaining is time to myself. I get to think and complete thoughts. I get to spend some time thinking about things instead of checking things off a list. I get to reexamine my goals in life and my wish list. Mainly, I get to hang out with myself.

I've told my family and I'm not ashamed to say it to the world. I don't want anymore kids because I like myself too much. Every offspring I produce = time that I don't get to myself. Don't get me wrong, I love and adore my kiddos and I wouldn't change a single thing about them. However, they are enough for me.

This time that I have strolling Lucy on the walking trail while she sleeps is when I feel most life myself. Lucy and Charlie deserve their Mama feeling her best. I plan to continue walking... maybe even jogging. Okay, probably walking.

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